为什么关系会从爱走向恨？

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Sadhguru: The nastiest situations happen not among enemies, but among the so called loved ones. Love means you’re willing to nurture another life, without forming opinions. It should be a relationship of nurture, not opinionated. These are not your loved ones, these are your extra limbs. You are not able to stand on two legs, so you need four or eight or twelve I don’t know how many. These are extra limbs and when limbs are not well coordinated, they tangle up, you know. There are four or five brains, four or five power centers in the home and for it to be well coordinated, certain things have to be done. One way of doing it is, with an enormous level of connectedness, not emotional. Emotional connectedness just brings dependency. Emotion is something to be enjoyed. It is the juice of life. You don’t make your emotions work. You should not make them work. You can make your thought work, you can make your body work, don’t try to make your emotions work.

Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：最糟糕的场景不是发生在敌人之间，却是在所谓的爱人之间。爱意味着，你愿意不带观念地去培育另一个生命。它应该是一种培育的关系，而不是固执己见。这些不是你所爱的人，是你额外的肢体。你不能用两条腿站着，所以你需要四条或八条或十二条腿，我不知道要多少条。这些是额外的肢体，而且当肢体协作不佳时，它们会纠缠在一起，你知道的。在家里，有四个或五个大脑、四个或五个权力中心，为了让它协作良好，必须要做一些事情。其中一种方式就是建立高度的连结，不是情感的连结。情感的连结只会带来依赖。情感是用来享受的。它是生命的汁液。你不要让你的情感工作。你不应该让它们工作。你可以让你的思想工作，你可以让你的身体工作，不要试图让你的情感工作。

Whenever you try to make your emotions work for you, your situations turn nasty, isn’t it? Yes or no? Initially “I love you” works. After sometime, you’re trying to make emotions work for you. The harder you try to make it work, the nastier your life gets because emotion is not for work. Emotion is just to sweeten your life. Your thought and your body should work. Emotions - just there. It’s like a flower that you wear in your hair, nobody wears anymore. Tch. Okay, you don’t make these flowers work, the microphone works, something else works. The flowers need not work, they are just there, that’s all. Emotion is like that. It’s just there pleasant and wonderful. If you try to make it work, if you try to extract some life from around you with your emotions, it is bound to turn ugly. So, if you don’t have a working brain, if you’re not capable of thought then you try to use your emotions to make it work and it may work sometimes, that’s the whole problem. It works initially and then you try to push it further, then your life turns so nasty, so horribly nasty.

不管什么时候，当你试图让你的情感为你工作时，你的处境就会变糟糕，不是吗？是或不是？刚开始“我爱你”是有效的。一段时间后，你试图让情感为你工作。你越努力让它为你工作，你的生命就变得越糟糕，因为情感不是用来工作的。情感只是让你的生命变得甜蜜。你的思想和身体应该工作。情感——只是在那里。它就像你插在头发上的一朵花，没有人再插了。好吧，你不会让这些花工作，麦克风会工作，其它事物会工作。花不需要工作，它只是在那，就是这样。情感就像那样。它只是在那里，喜悦且美妙。如果你试图让它工作，如果你试图用情感在你的周围榨取生命，它一定会变得丑陋。所以，如果你的大脑不好使，如果你没有思考的能力，而你试图使用你的情感让它去工作，并且有时候它可能是有效的，这就是全部的问题所在。刚开始它是有效的，于是你试图长期使用，然后你的生命就变得很糟糕，如此可怕的糟糕。

Among people who supposed to care for each other, the nastiest situations happen not among enemies but among the so called loved ones. You agree with me or no? Am I being too harsh on you? Yes or no? So, people have their opinions. If you love somebody, you should have no opinion, that’s what love means. Love means you are willing to nurture another life without forming opinions, that’s what love means. We are loved ones, we have strong opinions about each other. No, that means your trying to fix life. An opinion is a way of fixing a person into a strait jacket. Love means nurturing a person into a new possibility. These two things cannot go together. No way they can be together. You make some judgements for the moment to nurture it better.

在那些本应该关爱彼此的人中间，最糟糕的场景不是发生在敌人之间，而是发生在所谓的爱人之间。你是否同意？我对你们太苛刻了吗？是或不是？所以，人们有自己的看法。如果你爱某个人，你应该没有看法，这就是爱的含义。爱意味着你愿意去培育另一个生命，而不带看法，这是爱的含义。我们是亲人，我们对彼此有强烈的看法——不，这意味着你试图禁锢生命。看法就是一种把一个人塞进一件紧身衣的方式。爱却意味着去培育一个人，让他进入一种新的可能性。这两件事不会并行。它们不可能同在。为了将它培养地更好，当下你会做出一些判断。

If you’re rearing children at home you have to make some judgements where the child is right now. To rear them to a next possibility, not form an opinion on him. The moment you form an opinion, you have no interest in nurturing that life into a new possibility. You only want to fix it in a shell of your opinion and you will be disappointed if it doesn’t go by your opinions (Laughs). No, that’s not the way it works. If you want to live closely with people, it should be a relationship of nurture, not opinionated. It will not work like that. Fundamental mechanics are wrong, so how will it work? By accident, because of the newness of the situation; because it’s honeymoon time, it may work for some time, but after that it will not work. So, if truly it’s a loving relationship, there should be no opinions, there should be only nurture.

如果你在养育孩子，你要去判断孩子现在处于什么阶段。抚养他们去到下一个可能性，而不要对他带有看法。一旦你带有了看法，你就不再关心培育那个生命到达新的可能性。你只是想把它装进你看法的壳子里，如果它没有遵循你的看法，你会失望（笑声）。不，那种方式不会奏效。如果你想亲密地与人生活在一起，应该是一种培育的关系，而不是固执己见。那样是没用的。基本的运作都是错误的，所以怎么会有用呢？偶然的情形，因为是新鲜期，因为是蜜月期，可能会奏效，但那之后它将会失效。所以，如果它是一段真正的爱的关系，应该没有看法，只有培育。

Isha视频链接：

space.bilibili.com/489162014

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