Every individual is capable of building relationships of joy and happiness, if only we get the fundamentals right. Yogi and mystic, Sadhguru, looks at creating an inner “climate” from which healthy relationships can naturally blossom.
每个人都有能力建立快乐、幸福的关系，只要我们摆正了根基。瑜伽士、神秘家萨古鲁探讨了创造一种内在的“气候”，让健康的关系能够从中自然地绽放。Sadhguru: Relationships are necessary to exist in the world. You may not get married or raise a family, but you still have relationships with anything and everything around you. Whether you keep them beautiful or ugly is the only choice you have. For most people, though relationships initially bring joy, after a while they only bring anxiety. This happens because we have been building relationships out of compulsiveness, not out of choice. Please see, it isn’t your enemies who are taking your life. It is the things you have always wanted and which you have created with lots of care that are taking your life every day. If your enemy wants to kill you, that’s understandable. But it is your loved ones who are taking your life. Somewhere, we haven’t gotten the fundamentals right.Sadhguru（萨古鲁）：要在世上存在，关系是必需的。你可能不会结婚或组建家庭，但你仍然与你周围的一切事物有着各种关系。你会让它们保持美好还是丑陋，这是你唯一的选择。对大多数人来说，虽然关系最初带来了喜悦，可一段时间后，它们带来的只有焦虑。这是因为，我们一直是出于强迫性在建立关系，而不是出于选择。请看看，消耗你生命的，不是你的敌人。而是那些你一直想要的、并非常用心创造出来的东西，在每天夺消耗的生命。如果你的敌人想杀你，这可以理解。但现在是你的所爱在消耗你的生命。在某个地方，我们还没有把根基摆正。If you had a choice between pleasantness and unpleasantness, between joy and misery, between beauty and ugliness, what would you choose? Definitely, you would choose joy and pleasantness. But why is unpleasantness happening? Why is misery happening? Simply because nothing of you is in your control; everything is happening accidentally. Your mind, emotion, energy and body are not happening the way you want them to happen. They are mostly decided by the external situations. If the outside situations are pleasant, you also become pleasant. If the outside situations are unpleasant, you also become unpleasant. Who you are is very deeply enslaved to the situations in which you exist. If someone tells you when you should get up, when you should lie down, what you should eat and what you should wear, you consider this slavery. But right now, someone else is deciding how you will be within yourself – whether you will be happy or unhappy. Isn’t this a most horrible form of slavery?如果你有选择，那么愉快或不愉快、喜悦或痛苦、美丽或丑陋，你会选择什么？当然，你会选择喜悦和愉快。但为什么不愉快会发生？为什么痛苦会发生？仅仅是因为你的一切都不在你的掌控之中；一切都是偶然发生的。你的头脑、情感、能量和身体都没有按你想要的样子发生。它们大多是由外部情况决定的。如果外部情况是愉快的，你也变得愉快。如果外部情况不愉快，你也变得不愉快。你的状态深受你所处情境的奴役。如果有人告诉你应该什么时候起床、什么时候躺下、你应该吃什么穿什么，你认为这是奴役。但现在，是别人在决定你的内在会怎样——你会开心还是不开心。这难道不是一种最可怕的奴役吗?Building Relationships ConsciouslySo you have no relationships, you are just enslaved to things around you. A relationship is possible only when there is some sense of freedom within you as to who you are. Otherwise, this is just slavery and compulsiveness. Because of physical, emotional or psychological compulsiveness, you are building relationships of different types. When you exist here as a compulsive being, you cannot operate as a conscious being. Once there is no conscious way of existence, what you want will not happen. Whichever way situations push you, that is the way your life will happen. You become accidental. Once you exist here as an accident, you are a potential calamity.所以你并没有建立关系，你只是被周围的事物所奴役。只有当你内在拥有一些关于“你是谁”的自由感时，才有可能建立关系。否则，这只是奴役和强迫性。由于身体、情感或心理上的强迫性，你在建立不同类型的关系。当你作为一个充满强迫性的生命在这里存在时，你就无法作为一个有意识的生命来运转。一旦缺乏了有意识的存在方式，你想要的就不会发生。外在环境怎样推你，你的生命就会怎样发生。你变成是偶然的了。一旦你在这里的存在是一种偶然，你就是个潜在的灾难。Only if you are an individual by yourself, you can hold a relationship. Otherwise, because of compulsive needs, you hang on to someone. That’s not really a relationship. This is just clinging. You would actually cling to anything. Right now it happens to be human beings. If you are not okay by yourself, if you are using the other person to fill in the gap, it will be constant trouble. If you really want to have absolutely fantastic relationships no matter where you go, first, you need to establish yourself as a joyful human being.只有当你自己是独立的个体时，你才能保持关系。否则，因为强迫性的需要，你会抓住某个人不放。这不是真正的关系。这只是依附。实际上你会依附于任何事物。只是现在它恰好是人类。如果你自己无法独处，如果你在利用别人来填补空白，那会麻烦不断。如果你真的想要无论去到哪里都拥有绝对美妙的关系，首先，你得让自己成为一个快乐的人。
老子
Lao-tzu, who opened up the path of Tao, was one of the most beautiful human beings that ever walked this planet. At the age of eighty-four, when he was on his death bed, his disciples gathered around him and asked, “Master, we have seen you in all kinds of extreme situations but you have always been joyful. What is the secret?”老子，道家的开创者，是这个地球上曾有过的最出色的人之一。在他八十四岁时，他躺在临终的床上，弟子们聚集到他身边，问道："师父，我们看到您经历过各种极端的情况，但您总是那么快乐。秘诀是什么？”Lao Tzu said, “Oh, that! It is just that every day when I wake up in the morning, a thought comes to me, ‘Today, shall I be joyful or miserable?’ Until now, I just happened to choose joy, that's all.”老子说："哦，这个啊！就只是每天早晨醒来时，我都会有这个想法：‘今天，我是要快乐还是痛苦？’ 直到现在，我都恰好选择了快乐，就只是这样。”That’s all it is. If you choose to be joyful this moment, you can be joyous. It is just that you have to make a choice every moment that you want to be joyous. Consciously, very firmly make a choice that you will live as a joyous human being. Don’t put it on mortgage – “But if this happens how can I be joyous? If that happens how can I be joyous?” “Whatever happens I will live as a joyous human being.” Make a choice like that. If you are fine by yourself, then wherever you go you will have wonderful relationships with people.就只是这样。如果你此刻选择了快乐，你就会快乐。只是你得每时每刻都作出这个选择：你想要快乐。有意识地、坚定不移地作出这个选择：你要做一个快乐的人。别把快乐抵押出去——“但如果这件事发生了，我怎能快乐？如果那件事发生了，我怎能快乐？” “无论发生什么，我都要做一个快乐的人。”作出这样的选择吧。如果你自己没问题，那么无论你去到哪里，你都会与他人拥有美好的关系。原文链接：
isha.sadhguru.org/global/en/wisdom/article/building-relationships
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